I’ll keep your same rules, no more than 2 from any sport, with the NBA leagues counted separately
For those confused, please read this before going on: http://danielshapiro19.wordpress.com/2013/11/21/what-if-the-greatest-athletes-of-all-time-played-quidditch/
K: Roger Federer - WHAT? A TENNIS player??? Know what you need to be an elite keeper? Elite reflexes. Know what the GOAT of tennis has? GOAT-like reflexes. “But he’s only 6” 1’!” Yeah, but you know what you need to have a killer serve in tennis? A killer jump. Sure, he might not be the greatest offensively, but you won’t be making any shots on him. “He can’t even hit!” Nope, but that’s not his job. Plus, half of keeping is positioning, who better for position than a man whose job is to keep a ball from getting past him?
B: Aroldis Chapman - The man with the fastest recorded pitch in MLB history - 106 MPH. Yeah, having a big arm isn’t the only thing you need at beater, but it sure as shit helps. You give him a month to learn the game, and good luck getting around him at all. He could hit the entire pitch with ease while standing on his hoops. Want to try that dunk on Federer? Get ready for an 80+ MPH dodgeball to the face. Or Kidney. Or anywhere. You’re gonna feel that for days. Not to mention the accuracy. Any MLB pitcher is able to put a ball within a square foot of where they want it from 60 feet away, more than enough accuracy to land a beat that you can’t even see moving before it hits you.
B: Florence Griffith - “Who?” Why, the record-holder for the women’s 100M. You didn’t think I’d make Chapman retrieve all those bludgers himself, did you? No no no, my gunslinger will be protecting the hoops from dunkers, while Griffith out-paces anyone for those loose bludgers and feeds the beast inside. Throw your bludger? Good luck getting to it first. Get Griffith even a little positioning and that bludger is hers.
C: Michael Jordan - Not sure if I’m allowed to take the same players as one of you, but this is the only place where we agree at all, so I’m doing it. Jordan is the greatest competitor of all time. You may say he doesn’t have the bulk or experience in taking hits. Jordan, in his prime, would realize this and train accordingly. He’d be ready in a month. Jordan is possibly the greatest outside defender in NBA history, maybe he’s not the greatest tackler, but his ferocity will NOT allow you to get around him. He’ll be all up in your passing lanes, reading the shit out of any kind of shot you try to take, and turning any miscue into 10 points the other way. Not to mention he’s one of the greatest passers of all time as well. Not THE greatest, but 5.3 APG for his career doesn’t lie.
C: Jerry Rice - You can have your Megatron, I’ll have my fourth GOAT out of five positions so far (with the one non-GOAT being an MLB record-holder). Let’s say Jordan misses a pass by a bit. Not likely, but he could have been wrapped up. Rice catches it, evades a bludger mid-air, because Jerry Rice, and dunks through your pathetic excuses for keepers. Chamberlain? C’mon, you don’t have the lateral movement to keep Rice off your hoops (not to mention, he’s tall, but can he even block the small hoop without kneeling). Tim Howard? Love the guy, but he’s not taking down the greatest receiver who ever lived. And Woodson? He’s good, but Rice would run circles around him.
C: Brittney Griner - Greatest female defender in basketball history. Elena Della Donne may be good, but she won’t even touch the quaffle with Griner on her. Mia Hamm? An idol of mine, a phenomenal athlete…with her feet. She needs to be able to catch if she wants any chance of scoring against the Chap show. Griner puts that down. Not to mention she’s got the ball skills to dunk all over.
S: Dan Gable - Sure, we’ll take one more GOAT. The greatest wrestler. Want to know something about wrestling? It’s basically seeking, plus ground stuff. There’s a rather common wrestling drill where two wrestlers will lock up and try to touch the other on the tailbone. Sound familiar? And we’re talking about the guy who only lost one match in 4 years as a collegiate wrestler. The guy who didn’t give up a single point in the 1972 Olympics. Oh, and seekers have to be smart. They have to outsmart the other seeker, outsmart the snitch. There’s a reason Gable won NINE STRAIGHT NCAA CHAMPIONSHIPS, and TWENTY-FIVE STRAIGHT BIG TEN CHAMPIONSHIPS as the coach of the Iowa Hawkeyes. Plus, if anybody has the strength to get through Ray Lewis, it’s the wrestling GOAT.
U: Brett Favre - Need someone who can distribute like a boss? Here’s Favre. Need someone who can take 100 hits and pop right back up? Try a Favre. Need someone who can whip a bludger all over a pitch? Have a Favre. How about someone who could hit a hula hoop-sized target from 40 yards away with consistency? Favre does. Not to mention this is the second “most ferocious competitor” a sport has to offer on this team. Their willpower alone could force North Korea into submission.
U: Cheryl Miller - How about arguably women’s basketball’s GOAT? Miller is an ultra-competitor, and in four years at USC< won the Naismith POY award 3 times. She led the US Women’s team to a gold medal in 1984. She’s coached (so she’s smart enough to learn quickly), she’s the all time USC leader in points, rebounds, and steals, and was once the USC record-holder for assists and blocked shots. In short: she does it all. Oh, and did I mention that she’s the sister of Reggie MIller (no introduction needed) and Darrell Miller (an MLB catcher, so it’s likely that she can catch)? Growing up with those siblings would give you a fire that’s unmatchable.
So, Daniel and Alex, your teams are certainly flashy with your Megatrons and self-proclaimed kings and soccer stars, but what I have, is a collection of the greatest competitors sports has ever seen. Come at me.